This concludes the discussion of a past life vision I had. To avoid reading the plot twist first, start down three posts at #1…
So here’s the part that shocked me recently. A couple months after this vision, I was retelling the exciting tale to a friend — and in a flash, I suddenly realized something astonishing. The holy man’s choice, which I so admired as “doing the right thing” and felt was impressive because it involved such a personal sacrifice — was completely selfish and wrong.
My mouth dropped open and my stomach rolled. I saw everything from a completely different angle. He/I had simply taken the easy way out of a big conflict. The holy man threw the sacred things into the sea. He threw away the things he was supposed to guard with his life and walked away from it all.
Yes, he had to live alone for the next 20 years, sacrificing time with family and friends, missing seeing his daughter grow up. But that was apparently easier to him than challenging his abusive younger brother’s attempt to take over both the village and the sacred things. He/I was the elder and should have stepped into the role of leader after the death of our father and eldest brother. I had more of a right to lead the village, but he was bigger, angrier, nastier, and more willful. This past me won one battle, kept the sacred things undefiled by dropping them in the sea, but he lost everything else. He also in a sense betrayed the entire village, and then left them to live with his brother!
Yet even now, I can see him/me, so vividly, at the end of his life. He looks up and sees the small tent of animal skins and sticks that make the roof of his snow shelter. He lies very comfortably in a pocket bed carved in the snow. His deathbed, and I can hear his death rattle.
How did we connect in meditation? Was he calling to me from there? Was he telling me not to make the same mistake in this lifetime? Was he telling me to stand up for my own power and fight?
I am so grateful for these multiple profound insights, and the experience itself. I loved how the whole thing unwound like an epic movie, too. How many meditations did that holy man in the wilderness have to do to get this message to me now? Thank you, thank you.
© Daria Boissonnas 2008, All Rights Reserved. Used with permission.