What to do when your client says, “I can’t afford it”
If you’ve had a healing, coaching, or counseling practice for a while, I’m sure you’ve heard a client say about coming back or taking the next step, “Sorry, I don’t have the money for that right now.” It kills the conversation about future care instantly. What do you do?
Recognize a few things:
(1) It’s not true. The universe is abundant. If you promised them $1 million back to come up with that money, they could and they would. Something else is up. Something big and scary to them. What to do about it: Let go of your need to fix them. Let go of your healer’s ego that says you know better than they do. Love and appreciate them for where they are in their journey and the intrinsic beauty of human coping mechanisms. And bless them for helping you let go of one more tiny sliver of that ego.
(2) They are uncomfortable speaking their truth. Have you ever sold something on craig’s list and heard people who clearly don’t want your item after they see it say, “We’ll think about it and call you.”
Your client may be claiming no money instead of discussing another issue with you, eg. “We are moving too fast.” “It scares me to get better; it’s unfamiliar.” “I don’t see what these sessions are doing for me.”
Sometimes what they are trying to communicate is buried so deep they aren’t aware of it. Things like “I don’t want to to get better and lose the benefits and attention I’m getting from having this condition.” or “Really truly deeply healing scares the bejeebies out of me.” or “I’m not sure I’m this valuable and I’d rather give up than try and fail.”
In any case, what I find is helpful is to let go of my need to fix them. Let go of my healer’s ego that says I know better than they do. Love and appreciate them for where they are in their journey and the intrinsic beauty of human coping mechanisms. Bless them for this opportunity to get rid of one more sliver of my healer’s ego.
(3) This potentially frustrating exchange is a gift to you. If you recognize stubbornness or fear or unwillingness to move forward in them, then you have some of your own in your life. Take a look. You can only perceive in the outer world that which you have in your inner self. That’s how energy works. Take a good honest look, especially on those weeks when you have a FEW clients pulling this one on you, hmmm.
When you find this energy inside you, honor it and thank it for protecting you in its way. Ask it to help you learn to cope consciously with the issue it’s protecting you from. When you do, your clients will stop exhibiting this tendency, too. And that will be a very nice coincidence.
On top of that, you guessed it: Let go of your need to fix your clients. Let go of your healer’s ego that says you know better than they do. Love and appreciate them for where they are in their journey and the intrinsic beauty of human coping mechanisms. And bless them for helping you let go of one more tiny sliver of that ego.
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February 24th, 2011 at 7:09 pm
yeah well …. some times it is a lack of money. if you told me you would give me $1 million back I would have to suck it up and tell you that if I had my own income and was not one hundred percent dependent on someone else I would spend it on healing. I could list kids rent food bla bla bla that are required but honestly those things only count where it comes to my children. if it was just me I have gone without before I could do it again and healing is not only important but needed and wanted.
I could offer barter or my time but the arbitrary green bills that society has placed so much importance on …. that I don’t have any of. if you said I could have a million dollars if I could buy lunch at Mc donalds I would have to look at the Dollar menu Sigh and apologize and walk away. yes in most cases you are spot on but there are times when “I do not have it” is as true as it gets and pride or no pride I will stand in the face of healing and say. their is no money and healing is on top of my list right below the needs of my children.